Sleep, an Afterthought

For the first time since July, I have an unprecedented amount of free time to myself. Most of this year has been dominated by tennis oriented events and activities - multiple teams, multiple weekly practices, multiple matches, tournaments, and tennis socials have filled my calendar week in and week out. This was mostly due to the success of the majority of the teams on which I've played. I guess you could say that I am a victim of my own success. For next the six weeks, I have only one league, one match, and one practice each week. With that being said, there is an entire list of things that I probably used to take for granted that are now luxuries. While that list may be extensive, the one indulgence that stands out most prominently, and holds the #1 slot is sleep.

While I've never been one to indulge in sleeping my day away, and getting more than seven hours of sleep (in the past) seemed excessive, I’ve come to realize that it was one of my most pleasurable daily activities. My ability to squeeze in the minimum daily sleep requirement has been greatly diminished. Being a team captain has required me to start before everyone else and stay later than everyone else. While my team members may be afforded the privilege of showing up right before match time, and thereby maximizing their sleep time, that is not a possibility for me. The earlier a match time is scheduled, then the earlier I'm required to start. Now on the weekends, just as during the work week, it seems to be a requirement for me to set my alarm, and that absolutely sucks!

Sleep during my work week - ha! That's a joke. Maybe this is my primer for motherhood, I don't know, all I know is during the work week there is not a dedicated time slot in my daily schedule for sleep. It's something that finally happens after work, after my Superwoman quick change from business attire to court attire, after 1.5 hours of coached practice, after succumbing to peer pressure to stay on the court for 1 hour after coached practice, after the drive home from practice, after scoffing down a fast food meal in lieu of one prepared by my own hands, after extinguishing fires which result from listening to, reading, and responding to the emails and voicemails of team members, family, and friends, after a frustrating search through my closet for the next day's work attire, after the shower required to combat the stench of sweat and funk, after a hopeless attempt to keep up with my ever reducing rotation of television shows, after the nightly news, after an attempted blog entry, after the decision to neglect organizational demands, and after sitting on the edge of my bed in a zombie-like state staring at the destruction around me - I finally submit. I submit to the silence of the night around me, to the realization that I’m probably the only lunatic who isn’t asleep, and to the delirium associated with sleep deprivation.

After all of my daily obligations, that afterthought called sleep descends upon me like the effects of Nyquil on a cold sufferer. It ends up being a pseudo-drugged sleep that is so heavy and near paralyzing that the sound of my blaring alarm clock each morning doesn't register. Most times, I can barely remember hearing the alarm sound or the trip over to alarm clock to turn it off. I've tried diligently to drag myself out of bed, but obviously when the clock sounds I must be right in the middle of some very good REM sleep, so good in fact, that I am lulled back into my coma. That is not a good thing because there is this small issue called work. Oversleeping for work has become more the norm than the exception. Good thing no one keeps count, or I would most assuredly be fired. Unfortunately, despite the semi-tennis lifestyle that I currently live, I am not amongst the privileged who can afford to live the complete tennis lifestyle. Yes, work is a necessary evil that presents itself daily as an interference that must be addressed. Until, I can find the career that allows me to work from home and set my own schedule, I am forced to conform and request a schedule change at my job.

Sorry, I don’t have the 401k or the courage of one of my coaches who decided to quit working and succumb to the call of the tennis lifestyle. For the time being, there is no great money making scheme, idea, invention, or great novel in the works. For now, I guess I will relish the next six weeks of freedom and seize every opportunity to regularly indulge myself with the luxury of a full night’s sleep. The clock is ticking, and before I know it my schedule will once again be filled with everything tennis. Sleep will once again abate and only appear in statements that sound like distant memories of times long gone. My frenetic lifestyle will gobble up every waking moment, as well as those which weren’t meant to be spent awake. Sleep will once more be an afterthought.