OMG am I OCD?

Okay, that may be a little extreme. It's a term that in today's culture is used loosely, but I'm not discounting those who actually suffer from the disorder. I'm not OCD and have never seen a mental health specialist, or had a reason to see a specialist to have an official diagnosis made, but I can be a little extreme. When I undertake activities it's all or nothing, and that is every activity. There is no happy medium for me. I may procrastinate about the task or activity for some undetermined amount of time, but when I decide it's time to act, boy do I act. It can be anything, research for a project, cleaning my room, organizing a cabinet, or even playing tennis, but whatever the activity may be, I won't stop until it's done. I will completely focus on the task and it will completely occupy my mind until I've finished. I will obsess over the details of how I should complete the task, and how long it will take to complete, and what my outcome should be. Maybe I'm more anal than anything else, who knows. At home it may be good because I actually accomplish any organizational goals for myself, and truthfully, it's just me doing my own home projects so no one else is affected.

One of my favorite shows is the Dog Whisperer. I'm utterly in love with the way Cesar Milan can come into a home and snap a dog out of its detrimental mental state and back into its "calm submissive" state. I finally have realized that maybe Cesar needs to come and visit me on the court. There are days and times on the court where I need a partner who can act as the "Tennis Whisperer". I need someone who has the ability to literally kick me, say "tst", and bring me back to a calm submissive state. I need someone who can get me out of that circular OCD pattern, and thus far no partner has been 100% successful at accomplishing that. This occasional mental psychosis that occurs during some matches can be detrimental to not only me, but also my partner. Needless to say, there are some that I can't play with. Sometimes these partners need their own Tennis Whisperer for different reasons, and unfortunately two partners on the court that need assistance to mentally focus are not the two partners who should be paired together. It has taken a while for me to understand this and now I have taken steps to ensure that never happens again. I constantly remind myself that I'm only playing for recreational purposes – there is no $1,000,000 champion's purse. I am working on learning to let go of the errors that mount up during each game, set, or match. Honestly, I wear my emotions on my shoulder, so every emotion I feel during a match (even if for only a moment) can be read by all spectators, and unfortunately my partner. This is a necessary realization for me because it means that in my effort to be the best sportsman possible, I must now tackle my past inability to look at the glass as being half full versus half empty. Finding the solution to this will ultimately bring out the "calm submissive" inner player on the court and banish that OCD nightmarish player who has a tendency to appear. Being that calm, submissive, and optimistic player I desire to be will enable me to create better opportunities for myself and my partner to bring home a win for our team.